China shows little tolerance for political dissent on the Internet, scrubbing criticism of top leaders and the Party, for example. And if it thinks rumors on the web will be socially destabilizing, it cracks down quickly. So as the spread of bird flu, also known as H7N9, fans fears of a pandemic, authorities have detained people for spreading rumors of new outbreaks around the country.
When it comes to indirect barbs and black humor, however, the censors often simply ignore them. We culled a handful of jokes posted recently on micro-blogging service Sina Weibo that deal with China’s health and environmental perils. Haha?
Shanghai vs. Beijing
The Beijinger proudly says: “We are the most fortunate, we only have to open the window and we get free smokes. The Shanghainese quickly retorts: “What’s so special about that? We turn on the tap water and get pork rib soup!”
Heads you win, tails I lose
Question: How do I guard against smog?
Expert: Stay at home as much as possible and don’t open the window.
Question: How do I prevent avian flu?
Expert: Open the window often for ventilation … damn! Either way we are dead.
The two best ways to safeguard against bird flu: 1) drink a lot of water; 2) keep the air flowing. People living in Shanghai, please ignore number one. People living in Beijing, please ignore number two.
The more things change …
SARS ten years ago, bird flu ten years later…. The Pearl River Delta ten years ago, the Yangtze River Delta ten years later [Editor's note: SARS hit Delta hard, and bird flu is hitting the Yangtze Delta]. Delayed action ten years ago, delayed action ten years later. False reports ten years ago, false reports ten years later… Experts blathering ten years ago, experts blathering yet again ten years later. We saw all of this ten years ago. Nothing has changed, nothing at all has changed. We have come full circle and ended where we began. We donkeys are so stupid it’s tragic. Only the virus has changed.
A day in the life
You get up early and buy two gutter oil-fried dough sticks, a poison egg, and have a cup of melamine milk; At lunch, enjoy some Clenbuterol-tainted pork with fried pesticides leeks; Your boss doesn’t give you a raise but you have to be strong and keep living, because … the cost of graves keeps going up!
